


Send Newts

by thegingerirritant



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bachelor Party, Background Reylo, Drug Use, F/M, Gingerflower, Mentions of a stripper, Night in Vegas, Not Salamanders, Nudes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poe's a trickster, Pregnancy, Sassy Phasma, Tags May Change, it's pot, mentions of crappy parents, newts, parenting, sonogram
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegingerirritant/pseuds/thegingerirritant
Summary: An inside joke throughout the years, his friends constantly tease Armitage Hux for a misspoken word while under the influence of pot brownies during his Bachelor Party.Little snippets throughout the years of Rose and Hux's marriage.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	1. "Donn look a mmm ffnn."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HerSistersKeeper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerSistersKeeper/gifts).



> Hi, Friends!
> 
> The world is bad right now.  
> So, I decided to try to distract myself with a fun little GingerFlower fic. They're quickly becoming a favorite ship of mine and I wanted to explore their relationship!
> 
> I hope you all can find joy today.

Hux was thoroughly enjoying his bachelor party. 

Solo and Dameron had treated him to a Vegas weekend, and somehow Phasma had shown up, too, even though Solo swore he didn’t tell her about it let alone even mention it in the vicinity of their office building. But, the tall, leggy blonde provided perhaps Hux’s favorite part of the evening: Pot brownies.

While Hux did enjoy a rare glass of expensive scotch or bourbon with his best friend, he admitted that he was too high strung to truly reap the benefits of an alcohol buzz. No, his substance of choice to truly relax was the occasional weed-infused confection, usually baked by his amazing fiance who owned her own bakery, so you know they were amazing. And this batch his assistant bestowed upon him were certainly from Rose’s oven. 

Of course, what Phasma had failed to mention was that they were more potent than what Rose usually made. And it wasn’t long until Hux was unable to speak in more than mumbles and giggles, making the stripper Dameron had hired more than a little nervous. 

“Sorry, honey,” she apologized sweetly to Poe when she walked into the room and saw the Groom’s state. “You know I don’t party with those who can’t consent.” Poe pouted as he reached into his pocket and still paid her the full amount for the evening. 

“Alright,” Solo grunted as he hoisted the ginger up from his chair by the suite’s pool. “Let’s get him to bed.” Dameron and a couple of the other guys in attendance each grabbed a limb of the over-relaxed man who kept dragging his feet until they lifted him more. 

He kept mumbling as they moved him, not entirely in protest. “Mm ffnn,” was a phrase he kept repeating. “Gimme mm ffnn.”

Ben shook his head, “You don’t need your phone right now, Hux.”

“Roos.”

“I’ll text Rose for you.”

“Noooo. Roos newts.”

Now that baffled even Ben Solo, who had stuck around Hux since middle school and should have known all of his friend’s drugged-out words and ticks, just as he knew when Dameron starts humming that it’s time for Gatorade and ibuprofen. No, “newts” was a new one. 

Poe gave him a questioning look, having been best frenemies with Hux since Ben brought them together. Ben shrugged at his godbrother. 

The other two men left as Dameron and Solo tucked the groom in. But, he kept fighting them. One minute he would be trying to take him pants off, the next reaching for his phone. Then he'd be whimpering as Dameron restrained him, "But Roos!"

"Yeah, we'll text Rose for you," Solo patted Hux's head after he tucked the hotel comforter around him as tight as a straight jacket. 

"No, no, no," Hux babbled. "Donn look a mmm ffnn. Dnt look a Rooses newts. Mine."

Poe Dameron smirked his naughty smirk. "Nudes. Rose sent him nudes."

Realization melted over Ben's face before the two sober (well, more sober than their friend) men burst out laughing at Hux's expense. Hux nodded pitifully. 

"Alright, then I will text Rose from my own phone then," Solo said as he wiped a tear from his cheek. 

Hux began to snore, finally succumbing to the drugs in his system. 

* * *

Hux rolled out of bed, feeling both hungover and incredibly well-rested, but certainly not ready to leave the crazy city of Las Vegas. There was much more he wanted to do. Though, he guessed he could just talk Solo into having his own bachelor party here whenever he decided to stop being an idiot and propose to Rey.

He reached over towards his nightstand where he figured his phone might be. His hand found it blindly, noting that someone, probably Solo, had plugged it in to charge. There were only a few messages waiting for him. 

**Solo** : We're heading down for breakfast.

 **Hux** : Be down in a minute. Get me a very large, very black coffee.

 **Solo** : Biscuits and gravy have been ordered.

He moved on to his older messages, noting that Rose had sent him a couple of photos, the first being very personal of her newest brazier, something she was testing out for their wedding night.

Hux smirked at the photo she had promised to send him- to remind him that he has more at home than anyone else can give him, Rose had winked jokingly as she shooed him and his friends through airport security. Hux had groaned, already wanting to go home with her. Instead, Dameron and Solo dragged him away from his fiance, shouting promises to have him back in one piece and that one of them would text her to make sure they were all still alive the next day. 

And now he wanted to head home desperately. Luckily, they were about to do exactly that after a hearty hangover breakfast in the hotel's fancy restaurant. 

But, then she had sent a second photo… of a salamander?

And now he was getting another text, this time from Dameron.

Another picture of a slimy lizard thingy. 

What the fuck?

**Dameron** : ;-) There's more where that came from, big boy. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Baby's First Newts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose plays the ultimate prank on her husband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to my fluff-fest. 
> 
> Fluff will bring us together.

Rose had taken full advantage of teasing her new husband at any chance she had. She liked to make him blush. And, oh, there were so many things she could tease Armitage Hux about. 

First, she could always count on him being nervous around other people’s kids. A few of her friends had kids, and any time they were over for a visit, Hux would make any excuse to leave the room. Even claiming that he needed to find his fishing poles (that he doesn’t own) for a trip he was going to take with Poe (whom he never actually chooses to hang out with). The one time he held Paige’s baby, he just froze, all blood having drained from his face making him look see-through instead of paperwhite. Rose gladly relieved him after snapping a photo for her own records. 

She also loved making sure he had every “Cat Dad” product imaginable, even giving him a throw blanket of him and his beloved Millicent in photo form. He treated that cat like a princess, and while it was incredibly weird, especially in the beginning, it was truly endearing now that Millicent had (finally) accepted Rose as her not-so-evil Step-Mother. And even though he wasn’t comfortable around young humans, he treated his cat as if she were his own, and that gave Rose hope. 

But perhaps her favorite thing to tease him about, was the story of his bachelor party and how he kept insisting that he send her “newts” and that his friends weren’t to look at her “newts” on his phone. 

And now, any time he started texting something a little naughty, she’d send a photo of a newt. Bonus points if the newt was in a sexy pose or outfit. 

Rose knew she wasn’t the only one who did this, either. Poe would sometimes swap out their framed photos for a newt picture, had dressed up as a newt for Halloween one year, and, finally, he had somehow convinced Hux’s mother to also send her son a birthday card featuring, of course, a newt.

It had truly become a running joke between their inner circle of friends. Even the stoic Ben Solo would get a poke at the ginger in every now and then. 

So, when it came time to announce to her husband that she was expecting their first child, Rose had an idea. And it wasn’t one she could pull off on her own. 

First, she needed photoshopping skills, and her best friend Rey was just the person to do it. Rose had never trained to use the program and would have never known where to start. But, Rey could keep a secret as well as make magic with her cursor, and Rose was happy to let her in on the secret. 

The second half of the surprise needed careful coaxing of the ultrasound technician. Luckily for Rose, it only took a phone call.

And the stage was set. 

~

It was the first time Hux had joined Rose at a doctor’s appointment, her first one having been when he had a stomach bug and couldn’t remove himself from the small powder room at the front of their house. Rose had banished him there as his retching was making her morning sickness thirty-two times worse. 

He was uncomfortable in the waiting room, being one of two men in the waiting room. It wasn’t that Armitage Hux was afraid of pregnant women. It was that the other guy was making faces at Hux behind the woman, heavily pregnant, he was with as if he was trying to comically commiserate with him about having to attend yet another doctor’s appointment. Joke’s on him, Hux was proud to be there with his wife. 

He was going to be a far better father to his child than his own father was to him, and he was going to enjoy it. 

It took twenty minutes for the staff to call Rose’s name. Hux grabbed her tote bag for her as he ushered her ahead. He waited patiently as her stats were taken in the hallway and then in the exam room. Then the nurse left the room and handed Rose a gown and went on her merry way. 

Rose changed so quickly that Hux barely caught a glimpse of her, and he quickly realized why. The doctor knocked twice and then walked in less than two minutes after the nurse left. Hux didn’t think he had ever seen a doctor’s office run so efficiently. 

“Good morning!” the bubbly doctor with lilac hair chirped. “Rose, and this must be Armitage! It’s great to meet you! I’m Dr. Holdo, or Amilyn if you’d prefer,” She held her hand out for him to shake. “Ok, let’s get right into it. Rose, how have you been feeling? Any morning sickness?”

“Oh, god yes,” Rose scrunched her nose, trying not to remember the last time she was forced to purge. “And the heartburn is wicked. And I’m sleeping all the time.” 

Dr. Holdo nodded along, “All of that is to be expected. How is your digestion otherwise?”

“Not horrible, but not perfect,” Rose reasoned. “I can’t complain too much about it.”

The first part of the visit went more or less like that, Holdo asking questions, Rose answering, and sometimes Holdo gave her useful information to help her feel more comfortable through her pregnancy. 

But now came the fun part. Dr. Holdo had stepped out, wished them a good month, and confirmed the exact date that she would see them. And then in rolled the Ultrasound Technician with a cart full of equipment, including a screen. 

“Are we ready for baby’s first pictures?” she smiled. Hux thought she might love her job a little too much by how widely her lips spread over her teeth in a smile. “I’m going to have you lean back dear, and you” she nodded to Hux, “should bring your chair over because you’re going to want to see this.” 

She showed them all of the little body parts that were forming, let them listen to the baby’s heartbeat, and finally, “How many copies do you want?”

“Four, I think?” Rose guessed. “One for my sister, one for your mom, one for us, and then one for Rey and Ben?” 

“Make it five. You forgot Phasma,” he smirked. They were planning on asking her to be Godmother. 

Without missing a beat, the technician handed them their prints as soon as they came out of the printer. “Alright, you two are all set!” she chirped again. 

Rose flipped through them really quickly and smiled wickedly. “They’re perfect! Armie, can you put these in my bag?” 

He grabbed her tote and found her planner inside. He knew it would be the only place safe enough for the prints. 

But the prints weren’t anything like what he saw on the screen. He took a closer look as Rose talked to the technician. 

“Goddamnit, Rose!”

Rose almost peed herself in her gleeful fits of laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, they got the real sonogram prints before they left!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for giving this work a chance!
> 
> I will not have a posting schedule. It might get updated like twice in a day or it might not be updated for a year or two. I'm being gentle with myself right now. 
> 
> I have a lot going on- work is closing soon, though we don't know when exactly and the lady supposedly buying the place is here and already trying to make changes even though she and the current owner haven't even talked a price yet, I'm going through a bit of a past abuse issue that I don't really want to get too into right now, and then everything going on in the rest of the world is just devastating. I'm not looking for pity, just understanding that this may or may not see updates in a timely manner. 
> 
> Be kind to one another, please. It's the least we can do right now.


End file.
